There are some pages of my unwritten diary which I share with you. I was poor at studies, but my sister was the topper. Everyone used to say, learn from your sister; don’t you feel ashamed. What can I do? If she is good at her studies. If my parents started shouting, I cried, but surprisingly I was scolded for calling because I am a boy; I can’t cry. I think girls only have the right to cry. After so much effort finally completed class 10th with just passing marks, as usual, my sister was the class topper. I leave the next scene to your imagination. In fact, I was not at all interested in studies but was forced to do. I didn’t understand why my sister was not coming to college; If I asked her, she said she was not interested.
Whatever it was, I had no competition. I think girls are lucky enough to stay at home and watch TV, having fun.
After graduation, original background music started in life. If there is any boy with a job in your neighboring house or any relatives, then the music starts early in the morning and continues till you wake up the next morning. Don’t imagine if any girl is working in your neighborhood. It feels like committing suicide in a spoonful of water. Without a job, my house is like a hot pan; relatives come and sprinkle some water on the pan whenever they want some fun. We boys usually don’t like to attend any function because we are not asked how are you but what are you doing? This was the most challenging question I have ever faced.
My sister got married and now has a kid. I think that girls don’t need to study well, there is no need to get a job and parents have to save a lot for them like money and gold. I had a great interest in cooking but was never allowed inside the kitchen because I am a boy. Only girls can enter the kitchen. In any bus, if you sit in a ladies’ reserved seat, that means you are harassing them. If you are sitting in a chair not reserved for women but still a lady standing in the bus, then you are not a real man. I never agree with the statement that ‘woman is equal to man.’ Now the second level of torturer, if you don’t get a job, so, no marriage. This was the most irritating in my life because since my childhood I was not allowed to cook, wash and not even to cry by saying “ladke rothe nahi hai (boys don’t cry)”” ladki jaise mat rona(don’t cry like a girl)” but now I have to get a job, maintain a good bank balance and own house for a girl. I never understood this society.
After listening to all the stupid things finally got a job in another state. On my first day on the job, I saw a signboard that “harassment at the workplace is a criminal offense”, a women’s helpline 1901 but didn’t find a men’s helpline.
Now bachelor’s life has started, I think I can do anything because I have a job now; gradually, learned that I could do nothing except my job. I realized that this society had fooled me. As days passed, I started missing my parents, I tried to convince them, but they were unwilling to leave home town and come with me. Now I understand my sister’s pain when she left home after marriage. At my workplace, I see many female staff working and wonder how they can manage their home and work. I see many women in higher positions, and I feel sorry about my sister because she was not allowed to study; otherwise, she might be one of the working women.
Now bachelor’s problems started because family and society taught me I am a boy, so I don’t need to work at home. It is time to get married; parents are almost mining. My sister must have had a choice for her life partner, as I have now. Fortunately, my parents’ choice is suitable for my sister’s life partner, and I wish all the parent’s choices to be good if the girl has no choice.
I feel guilty because parents save a lot, not for their daughter but, in fact, for the boy (as dowry). After three years, I now have a baby child. I keep laughing at this foolish society because now I am not a typical society-driven man. Still, I don’t agree with the statement that ‘woman is equal to man’ because she may be more than him, and there is no need to equate with him.
Equal importance should be given to choices and interests, and it should not be depended on gender.
Written by Lakshmana Rao Veeramalla.
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